End of October 2014, I suffered from a severe back pain. I could hardly walk. My first reaction was “Ouch! %@&?!?!” and other non-quotable thoughts. But then, I turned within and asked my wise inner voice for its opinion. I got the following answer:
As you contract in fear each time you have to share your spiritual journey, so your back contracts now each time you want to move.
We cannot dance like this.
Yeah, right. I can see that. I had manifested several opportunities for writing about my spiritual path during the past weeks. But each time, I hesitated with seconds thoughts. Should I really write under real name about all the weird stuff that happened to me?
At the end of the week, I was so exhausted from the struggle with my fears that I made the silent resolution simply not to wish for opportunities for sharing anymore. That should solve the problem, I thought.
But apparently it was not such a smart idea. It was like hitting the brakes while running on full speed. And now my back merely mirrored this.
And the inner voice continued
I want you to write a blog.
What? Boy, there was a time when I desperately wanted to be able to hear this wise inner voice. Little did I know back then how much it would push me beyond my comfort zone.
Yes. Together we will create something beautiful.
Er – yes. Beautiful, sure. But it sounds scary. I really do like my privacy, you know? But at least, I don’t have to do the blog alone.
Remember. The days of your anonymity are numbered.
As if to underline the last statement, the anonymous commenting function in a blog where I used to comment was disabled that very day.
Now what?
I better obey. Thy will be done. And I desperately want the back pain to ease.
* * *
The next step on the spiritual journey is done when it becomes impossible not to do it.
Starting this blog is such a next step.
And it becomes impossible not to do it because I have the choice:
Write – or become sick.
I choose to write.
In 2006, my search for inner peace put me on the spiritual path. Since then, my worldview has turned upside down and inside out.
Some invisible force inside me is pushing me to speak up and share my insights.
This blog is devoted to the journey of spiritual awakening.
To the seekers of peace and truth.
Spiritual Awakening 
glad you listened to that voice!
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Thanks for your kind encouragement.
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Waw, Karen! I repeat it here, again: I was “pushed” to write about patterns because truly there are programs of awakening, and the stories are so similar! Same fear and reluctance to go public (I reckon that the darkest part of my journey was when I was resisting with all might to tell my truth – my mindset was so “mainstream”, and I wouldn’t accept anything not accepted by science – but this is another battle). Same journey, the archetypal dreams, the back pain healed, the loud voice, etc, etc… it’s been now nine to ten years and I am still going through awe moments when I care to ponder over all this.
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Thanks for your kind comment. I am glad that this resonated with you.
Yes, the journeys have many things in common. One of my pet projects is trying to find out what the phases and milestones are. I read many stories about awakening and try to find the common phases of them.
Being pushed to share publicly is definitely an important phase.
The channeled book A Course if Love says about this phase that we think it is about making the knowledge available. But in truth it is more for us, that we may overcome our fear of talking about it and that we learn to put it into words. And it also says that many people resist this part of the journey. Amazing, isn’t it?
Anyway, we have no choice. We must share. Otherwise we get sick. Thanks for sharing this part of your journey with me.
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True… I never cease to being amazed… so I should strive to do my part of the job as well, or else…
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