Postcards from cave time

I have been nudged and pushed by the inner voice to do a workshop on divine guidance. But I resisted this task a lot. So, I thought it would be a good idea to look at the resistance. Where does it come from?

With this intention, I entered into cave time.  I felt that I first needed to make peace with life and all the loss and pain that is part of the spiritual journey (- think of a caterpillar in the chrysalis stage grieving the loss of the former self), before I could move on with the task of creating a workshop.

Here, are  some postcards from the phase of cave time about the patterns I have experienced.

  1. Feeling confused while in the midst of it
    I find it hard to make sense of a phase when I am in the midst of it. It is much easier to look at a difficult time in retrospect and then see what it was good for and what I have learned from it.
  2. Connecting the dots in retrospect
    As I read through old journals, I was able to see common topics that came up over and over again. For example, one of them was “Learn to express your view and set boundaries even if that might upset others!” Maybe this is why I am guided to continue blogging?
  3. Working through old stuff goes roughly backwards in time.
    First, the most recent ‘forgiveness opportunities’ came up, like anger at work. After that, the older stuff came up for processing (like the painful and crippling rheumatoid arthritis I got after the birth of my first child). Last, some unpleasant childhood memories came up about being treated unkindly in a hospital at the age of 3 years.
    So, that goes roughly backwards in time. However, the whole review process was triggered by a disturbing past-life memory that was revealed to me.
  4. Reframing, witnessing, faith
    In order to make peace with emotionally upsetting stuff from the past, for me, it usually comes down to reframing in order to find peace of mind. There is probably some gold nugget in the experience that I must be determined to find.
    For current surges of emotional pain, the witness position was often the only peaceful place to be found.
    When nothing else helped, like with physical pain, I got signs by the universe to just have faith that things would improve over time.
  5. The universe uses WordPress
    Whenever I had an urgent question during this time, there would soon be several posts in my WordPress feed which contained an answer to my question. God listens. How comforting!
  6. Lists
    Besides journaling, I have found it helpful to make lists of all kinds. The list of recurring issues in my life. The list of things to be grateful for. The list of things my higher self would enjoy doing (sharing my experiences fearlessly) versus the list of things my personality self would enjoy (sitting safely on my couch and reading yet another book).
  7. Sharing
    Though I did not blog during the last 10 months, I journaled a lot. But somehow, this was not enough. Whenever I had moved through a topic, someone appeared with whom I was prompted to share. It was as if I was encouraged to spell out for someone else what I had experienced and learned or where I was stuck.Thank you to everyone with whom I could connect during that time!
  8. Honoring my inner knowing
    When sharing my process with others, they often felt compelled to suggest solutions to my issues. Often, that was helpful. However, in some cases I had to politely decline their advice and rather honor my own inner knowing about what would be the appropriate next step for me – even if I was sorry to see that the other person felt rejected and disappointed.
  9. Advice to others is advice for myself
    I often found that when I gave others suggestions about what I guessed would be helpful in their situation, that was the very thing I needed to tell myself in the next difficult situation.
  10. Circling at the fork of surrender
    For me, there is a fork in the road. Surrender and do the workshop on divine guidance and all that is connected with it –  or avoid it.
    On the path of surrender, I need to face much fear.
    On the other hand, the path of avoidance does not face the fear and I could stay in my comfort zone and feel safe, but this only leads to circling and coming back to the decision fork in the road over and over again.
    Unfortunately, the path suggested by the higher self is not always what my personality-self prefers.
  11. Twisted memory or jump to another timeline?
    Twice during the last ten months, I had the experience that current facts do not conform to how I had remembered things. Very odd! Is this my lack of memory or is it something like the Mandela effect and the jump to another timeline? Interestingly, both experiences seem to be connected to decisions which made me come into better alignment with my higher self.

What happened to my resistance after all of that cave time? It is still there and I still don’t know exactly where it comes from or what it consists of.

Now, I am back to the former mode of pushing through this workshop task with obedience and self-discipline.

At least, I have set a deadline now. A  pilot version of the workshop on divine guidance with a very small number of participants will take place end of March, 2017.

A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part II

I am grateful that I have been invited to Barbara Franken’s challenge to share our awakening experiences, Part II .
     Since I didn’t participate in the first part of the challenge, I start with a short description of my awakening journey.
      During a period of overwhelm, I realized that I wanted inner peace more than anything else and that all usual self-help methods had failed so far. This was the start of my journey in 2006.
      After that, the universe led me on a trail. I read a lot about NDEs and reincarnation stories, all of which was mind-blowing to me coming from a scientific background. Then I devoured channeled stuff about spiritual principles (we are consciousness; consciousness is one and creative), as well as A Course In Miracles (ACIM) which is a Jesus channeling about forgiveness. I also consumed many personal accounts of contemporary enlightened ones. I had become a hardcore spiritual seeker in the non-duality department, aiming for enlightenment.
      In 2009, I got my major ‘forgiveness opportunity’ where I could practice the principles of ACIM; I found myself in a situation where I felt exploited. This brought on the feeling of helplessness and huge anger attacks. For the coming years, it was my main challenge to deal with this anger.
      I never went to any spiritual meeting and never had a teacher (other than books and youtube videos). But the universe acted as my teacher, with stick and carrot. When I was off-path (i.e. angry), I got burned out light bulbs and all sorts of weird electrical behavior around me. When I was in inner peace, little wishes tended to be fulfilled in miraculous ways.
      Apart from this stick-versus-carrot-teaching, there were many experiences on the path which I interpreted as lessons. I started to realize that inner peace seems to very much encouraged by the universe. It is not just another emotion, but it is Home. I found out by experience that thoughts coupled with emotion do manifest reality. Some dreams about the future  seemed to teach me that there is a timeless place in me which just knows the future. I was taught by experience that we are connected via consciousness.
      I went through a dark night of the soul and was forced to let go of the attachment to many parts of the former ‘me’.
      By focusing attention backwards at the ‘sense of I AM’, I found a place inside which is very peaceful. Staying in that peace inside granted access to a  new navigation mode. Wishing and allowing instead of striving and struggling. Learning to read the communication signs of the universe instead of relying on other people’s opinions and best-of-breed processes.
      I had some experiences that showed me  that I am consciousness and that the world is like painted on me.
      Access to the still small inner voice became clearer and offered me advice. I realized that divine guidance showed up in many different ways, via dreams, songs in the head, and patterns of events with literal or metaphorical meaning.
      Up to 2012, my path was characterized by the hunger for books about spiritual knowledge, the awe about all the formerly unseen realms, and also by the huge anger attacks (which lessened somewhat with the help of ACIM lessons).
      In 2012, something new happened. The inner voice asked me to share what I had experienced. But I did not feel ready for it nor entitled to do so. After all, I still have very much an ego and a self. How can I write when I am not enlightened yet? And I reacted with huge fear and panic to that request.
      Slowly and in baby steps, I went forward, sharing anonymously in a forum first. Then, end of 2014,  I started this WordPress blog (only upon request by the inner voice and only after much resistance and some health issues).
      2015 was about meeting fellow travelers on the spiritual journey. Oh, how many different paths there are! But I don’t seem to fit into any of them. Where do I turn when I have no clue about astrology, when I have a hard time appreciating poetry, when I am confused by lightworker lingo and Buddhist vocabulary as well? When I have no knowledge or desire to quote any of the philosophical ‘-isms’ out there. Can’t read auras. Can’t see ghosts. Haven’t had a spectacular Kundalini awakening. I am a mixed breed of everything and nothing.
      But in a dream I was encouraged to ‘just share my peanuts with fellow travelers’.
Where am I now?
      I find my self drawn to bloggers who share their spiritual journey, with all its ugly and beautiful aspects. I realized that despite all the differences of the various paths, the underlying subject is the desire to regain the lost paradise.
I have become more at ease with sharing on my blog and more spontaneous in commenting.  The community here with the large variety of spiritual bloggers is wonderful. Even though I don’t fit into any path or tradition in particular, I still can connect with many of you.
      Since I have decided to remove myself from the exploitative situation, the anger has lessened considerably. Anger and grief do still come up at times, but less frequently and less severely.
      Frequently, I wonder about the many different spiritual paths, their advantages and disadvantages. How come they eventually end up with the same insight, the falling away of the illusion of the separate self,  if they start out with  different belief systems? Are there common milestones for everyone on this spiritual journey? How to create a map for this uncharted terrain? How to use a common language?
       I am also wondering about my day job. Working in a corporate culture sometimes feels like a field study of the coping mechanisms for the illusion of separation. With detached amusement, I watch the rat race and sometimes wonder about the pointlessness of the human endeavors. I see the mechanisms of fear and all its ugly stepchildren. On the other hand, the universe does not make a distinction between private life and work, and therefore the dynamics of the single invisible hand of Source (e.g. synchronicities, miracles, ego-shredding dynamics) can be observed at my day job as well as in any other circumstances.
      After I had overcome this big hurdle of fear regarding blogging, I thought, ‘Now, I can relax.’ But I continue to get these little homework assignments from spirit (youtube video, maybe a Facebook page, prepare workshop about forms of divine guidance and more).  And I struggle with my resistance to each and every new request. Why isn’t blogging enough? I don’t want to have my lifestyle disrupted. Yes, I do like to talk about the spiritual journey one-on-one over lunch. But the thought of having to organize workshops, of traveling, and of marketing makes me cringe with fear. The inner discussion with my spirit guide about this topic would probably fill a book.
      I realize that this phase is about overcoming fear. Surrender is the way forward. And it is not a one time thing. It is a new surrender to every request from spirit.
      Sometimes I think that everything is perfect as it is and that my resistance is perfect, too. It is the only way I can get the full range of divine guidance, in dreams, signs, songs in the mind, etc.. Soft nudges as well as stern warnings and threats. Only this way I am well equipped enough to share about divine guidance.
      But often, the requests of the inner voice bother me. Then, I wonder whether Buddhists hear a still small voice of guidance, too. If not, maybe I should become Buddhist and tell the inner voice to shut up because it is just an illusion, hehe.
The next post in this blogging challenge is by Marga on http://lifeasimprov.com/ .

Describing the ineffable

It seems that everyone who has come upon the Source inside has to make an attempt, at least once, to describe the ineffable. Here is my attempt.

Disclaimer
Before I start, here is a disclaimer. The ineffable cannot be described with words because it is outside of the 3D realm for which language was invented.

The book ‘Flatland’ presents a metaphor for this kind of communication problem. It is a story of a three-dimensional sphere trying to communicate with beings who live on a two-dimensional flat plane. The sphere is trying to wake the two-dimensional beings up to the fact that there is more to life than what they can perceive with their senses. As you can imagine, much confusion and frustration follow from that attempt.

The same confusion and frustration happen whenever someone tries to describe the ineffable within us. Names are given. Consciousness, awareness, Source, void, emptiness, fullness, blackness, light. Piles of books have been written on it in an attempt to describe that which cannot be described with words. Those who have met the Source in themselves will nod their head and say, “I know what they mean.” But those who have not yet come upon the divine in themselves will think, “What are they talking about? What a hell a lot of gibberish! Doesn’t make any sense.”

Then, why try to talk about it at all if any attempt is doomed from the beginning?

Because Source insists on it.

Content of awareness
As I am typing this, I am aware of my surroundings, physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions. A blue computer screen, black keyboard, green plants in the room, the view through my window, white sky today. The physical sensation of my body weight sitting on the chair, fingers touching the keyboard. A feeling of coldness in the fingers. The thought that the coldness could be alleviated by eating a warm meal. A gnawing feeling in the stomach. Another thought, ’Is it lunch time yet?’ Impatience arising. A mental vision of my spirit guide. These are all things I can turn my focus towards. The focus of my attention is like a flashlight that I can turn towards anything I choose. Right now it is focused on the battling thoughts ‘Let’s have lunch’ and ‘No, let’s get this post done before lunch.’

Apart from all these things, sensations, thoughts, emotions arising, there is something else. The ineffable. I can choose to turn the focus of my attention away from all the things I have mentioned before. Away from everything out there, away from any thought and any emotion. That does not mean that thoughts and emotions will just vanish while I do this. It just means I can choose to put the focus of my attention on something else.

Where to look
I turn the focus of my attention 180 degrees away from all the things I have mentioned before, like in a U-turn, and look directly back at that which is looking. I turn my awareness back towards awareness itself. I am putting the focus of my attention directly on the sense of I AM.

It is looking at that which is always there in the background, which is always the same for all times (explained in the video on www.justonelook.org as looking at what it feels like to be me; looking at the sense of me). If you prefer to read a book about this method, it is described in The Most Direct Means to Eternal Bliss by Michael Langford as ‘Awareness Watching Awareness’ method.

I don’t need a special posture, a guided meditation with green meadows and a blue sky, or to count my breath, or to still my thoughts to find it. I turn my attention away from my body, away from my breath, away from my thoughts. Even away from any mental visions of my spirit guides.

Describing the ineffable
Ok, now the problems with describing the ineffable start. So, bear with me. What do we find when we turn awareness back on itself?

There is nothing there. Or rather, there is no thing there. What I am looking at is not something like my computer screen which one could look at with the eyes. It is not a physical sensation like the coldness in my fingers either. It is not a thought like ‘I am hungry. I want to go to lunch.’ Not an emotion like impatience or frustration as in ‘Why am I writing this? Probably just another useless attempt at describing the ineffable. Let’s have lunch…’ It is not a vision of an angel in my mind.

The eye does not see anything when the attention is turned 180 degrees backwards. Therefore, my mind labels it ‘blackness’ or ‘nothingness’ or ’void’.

That doesn’t sound very enticing, right? Why turn the attention inwards when there is nothing to be found?

Because this place is Home.

What it feels like
In the beginning of this practice, I experienced a lot of resistance for the first few weeks. This manifested as an itchy sensation over the whole body when I tried to look inwards. But I tried again and again. Eventually, staring back at the one who was looking gave rise to a sense of peace. Now, I have to resort to metaphors. In the beginning, it felt like the peace of a surface of a dark still lake. And when I rested there even longer, I got a sense of quiet joy streaming in. Like a small fountain in the heart area, always moving, flowing, inexhaustible.

I turn there in times of trouble and let myself be cradled in the peace and joy and the feeling that all will be okay.

During daily life, especially during routine activities, part of my attention is usually focused inwards. The peace, joy, and gratitude which come from resting in this looking-back-at-Source-place are unconditional. That means they are always there. Even if my fingers are cold and I am hungry. If there is a sudden shock or panic, I may lose the focus on this quiet background of peace, but I try to return to it as soon as possible.

The peace found inside has a magnetic pull to it. It pulls me inside because it feels so good to rest there.

There is a sense of completeness. Of needing nothing else to be happy. Nothing can reach this joy. No outer things like good food or enjoyable company or an expensive vacation.

The experience of this place is different for different people. Not everyone experiences peace and joy right away. For some, it may feel like a void, and not blissful at all, at first. Inner peace can feel weird. It can be experienced as boring. Or not feeling emotions if someone else suffers feels inhuman.
I have read a story by a woman who was in search of God. And then she was swallowed by this void at times and found it horrible. It took some time for her to realize that the void was answering her prayers, and eventually she was able to relax into it and feel the bliss.

What it is
Since this is so ridiculously easy to get there, I was tempted to think, “This can’t be it. No way. This was much too easy. Why should I be able to find it if others meditate their butt off for decades and still don’t find it?” It is easy to dismiss this place of inner peace and joy as ‘just another emotion’. But it is not. It is the connection to Source right inside of me. It is Home.

It is what we are. It is a higher dimension. Like what the 3D sphere is compared to the beings in 2D flatland, this space of awareness is for the content of awareness. It contains everything. It is not awareness arising from my brain, but it is the other way round. My brain is arising in awareness.

It is a place of singularity beyond duality. It embraces opposites. It is beyond the gnawing feeling of hunger in my stomach and beyond the pleasure of having a cup of creamy Belgian Chocolate ice cream.

This void or no-thing-ness is prior to thoughts. It is like pure potential from which thoughts can be born. It gives birth to thoughts and these turn into something solid.

It is the connection to the single guiding hand behind all the seemingly separate appearances. This is the force which orchestrates synchronicities.

The universe will put us to our knees just so that we can find this place of I AM. We are collectively suffering from a sense of mistaken identity. Looking for love in all the wrong places to fill the perceived hole inside of us. Trying to recreate the lost paradise by getting or rearranging things in the outer world. So, the usual path is that the sense of the wrong persona is stripped away, so that we may eventually come unto THAT which cannot be described with words but which is our true Home.

Turning the focus of attention back to awareness itself is remembering who I am. Or rather remembering what ‘I’ is.

Benefits
It is the place from which guidance and intuition come. And it is the place of the magic wand. Little wishes tend to be fulfilled promptly when I am in this place of unconditional peace. It is just that I don’t have many wishes (except for lunch, maybe) when I am there because everything is well.
It is my life jacket in times of turmoil.

Risks and side effects
It is the connection to Source. At first, I thought, ‘How cool! Can’t you tell me the winning lottery numbers?’ But, no, connection to Source means that Source moves me. In my case, that means I get little homework assignments like ‘Start a blog! Contact this person! Learn to speak up!’ all of which force the little ‘me’ to get out of its comfort zone. (This should be in the fine print to be considered before one embarks on the spiritual journey.)

It feels so good and so complete that there may be little motivation left to do anything else. Why animate this meat suit again if this is not who I am anyway? Why bother with worldly concerns if nothing in the 3D world can give me this peace and joy?

Other risks and side effects of this journey are the deconstruction of the former sense of self and the ego’s reaction to that (see my post about the Dark Night of the Soul). It is all fun and games until someone loses an ‘I’.

Oh, and yet another side effect of having found this place is writing a very long post with too many words about an ineffable topic which cannot be expressed with words in the first place.

But, waking up to this place of unconditional inner peace and joy inside is what we came here for, and that’s why it needs to be expressed even if though it is ineffable.

 

5 insights after 1 year of blogging

I have been blogging about the spiritual journey for one year now and want to share what have I learned.

  1. With a sense of relief, I see that it is not nearly as dangerous as I assumed in the beginning. I was very afraid and reluctant to start a blog and only did so because I was pressured by my inner voice/spirit guides. I thought if I write publicly about all the strange things  which have happened to me (like burned out light bulbs by anger and manifesting the weather) that I would encounter “issues” (like, uhm, do they still burn witches at the stake?).
  2. The tone of conversation is much more friendly than in an internet forum, where discussions often drift into flame wars.
  3. I am amazed by the variety of spiritual paths. So many different approaches! Buddhists, Lightworkers, Christians, ACIM students, hardcore spiritual seekers, they all approach the life’s journey with a somewhat different belief system and set of tools. Also, the variety of expression is amazing. Poetry, essays, stories, uplifting quotes, and advice.
    I am grateful for new friends, new perspectives, and new insights.
  4. Geography belonged to my least-favorite subjects at school. But looking at the world map of the WordPress statistics page is fun. Occasionally, a web search arrives on my blog from a country of which I had never heard the name before.
  5. Often, there seemed to be similar underlying subjects for many bloggers in a given time frame.
    For example, I had just published a post about the painful loss of the former self-image. And then another post about that topic came up. But the other blogger for sure did not know my blog.
    At another time, many people were blogging about time, multiple timelines, and time travel. I didn’t write about time then. But I lost my watch during that time.
    At yet another time, it was about visibility. Many were publishing their first picture, voice recording, or video.
    It is as if we are indeed all pulsed by the same divine Source.

Thank you, dear readers, for all your likes, comments, and for the warm welcome I have received here!

 

Phases of the journey

The spiritual journey consists of several phases.

Phase 1) Searching happiness ‘out there’.
Peace, joy, and fulfillment seem to be out there in the future, if we could just get that new job/car/partner/house/child. But the happiness found in the achievement of a new goal is fleeting at best.

Welcome to the human condition.

Phase 2) Searching and finding happiness ‘in here’.
This is an inward movement. Downsizing outer distractions like TV or social activities and withdrawing into the metaphorical cave for meditating.

This phase involves a painful stripping away of the attachment to the former personality (see my post about the Dark Night of the Soul).

Eventually, we find the unconditional Source of peace and joy inside of us. Job/car/partner/house/child may still be there, but they are no longer a requirement for happiness.

Phase 3) Returning to the marketplace
During this phase, the inner peace is tested while being active in the marketplace of life.

Walking through the rings of fear
For me, this phase is about sharing the insights of the spiritual journey. Getting out there and becoming visible, open, and vulnerable. It requires me to leave my comfort zone.

As of summer 2012, the usual chain of events in my experience goes like this:

At first, there is a call by the universe that I need to share in a particular format (anonymous in a forum, for starters, but with full name in a blog later). That call is delivered via the inner voice and is usually enforced by outer signs.

If I resist because of fear (which I usually do), I experience a strong sense of guilt and then there is a talk by my spirit guide. At first a gentle coaxing which turns into a stern lecture later.

If I still resist (which I usually do), there are dreams which tell me that I am procrastinating and which soon turn into warnings (“Share, or else…”).

And if I still resist (which I sometimes do), there are consequences like clogged drains mirroring my resistance, or even health problems.

Relief from the guilt and fear is found, once I yield and do what Source wants me to do.

Recently, I was told by my spirit guide to speak and share in a video format. After the usual battle of resistance (including health issues in the throat chakra region), I finally gave in and recorded this short video about the phases of the spiritual journey (1:30)
https://youtu.be/9z3O8flnm9s

Why it’s important to love yourself first

This is a contribution to Barbara Franken’s call for posts about why it is important to love ourselves first. https://memymagnificentself.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/loving-self-first-is/

What does it mean to love ourselves first?
For me, it means taking care of my inner peace first. I turn my attention 180 degrees inwards, away from the 3d world, away from all thoughts and emotions, and then I look at awareness itself. That is how I find the place of inner peace. Unconditional inner peace. Peace and joy no matter what the circumstances are.

Inner peace is our real nature.
At first, I thought that inner peace is just another emotional state. But, no! It is our real nature. Being there means being Home.

Inner peace is the place of power.
I realized that wishes tended to be fulfilled promptly when I was in inner peace. I thought, ‘Cool, this is like having a magic wand!’ Whereas when I was in a state of emotional turmoil, weird and annoying things started to happen (- my specialities seem to be broken electrical appliances when I am angry).
If I am not at peace and instead get reactive to the events around me, this emotional state will be the very cause for the next round of disasters. It is as if the universe says, “Dear child, you like feeling angry and upset? Well, let’s see what I can do for you.” And, boom, like a rabbit out of the wizard’s hat, there will be another round of problems.

Inner peace is the place from which intuition comes.
The inner wise voice of guidance can be heard or felt more clearly if we are at peace. Whereas, when there is emotional turmoil, the still small voice is inaccessible.

Inner peace is the place from which love fills us.
We can only give what we have received. We are like a garden hose nozzle with water flowing through. In order to water the plants, the nozzle first needs to receive the water from the source. It can only let out as much water as it has received before. I can only give love when I have received it before. I receive love from inside when I am at peace. If  people don’t find this place of connection to Source, then they can behave clingy in relationships. There will always be searching for fulfillment coming from the outside.

I remember that the Raj material contains many statements about how we must learn to be ‘divinely selfish’. Here is  a quote I have found:

“You cannot think yourself into greater appreciation of another. If you could, your appreciation would be theoretical. Appreciation arises out of Knowing, out of experience. So, let your primary desire be to know your Self more and more significantly. It is to know what God is being, because God is being You. […] You could call this a divine selfishness. But the wonderful thing about divine selfishness is that it blesses everyone, because it does not block the essential Presence of God right where You Are. It does not obscure It.”
(Raj/Jesus, channeled by Paul N. Tuttle, https://nwffacim.wordpress.com/)
Source : CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ, OCTOBER 1985 ,Vol. 2, No. 10
http://heavenlydesigns.homestead.com/files/vol2num101985.htm

A Copernican shift in world view

It was a world view shattering insight for me that consciousness can exist independently of a functioning brain. This is becoming more widely accepted now.

“First hint of ‘life after death’ in biggest ever scientific study”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11144442/First-hint-of-life-after-death-in-biggest-ever-scientific-study.html

How can someone see and hear what is going on in the room when the brain doesn’t function anymore? Our current model does not account for this.

Whenever there is a discrepancy between the model and reality, it is always reality which wins. And it is the model which needs to be adjusted.

This leads to a Copernican shift in world view. Consciousness does not emerge from the brain. It must be the other way round. The brain emerges from consciousness.

Trying to understand how consciousness is created by the brain by studying the electric currents in the neurons is about as promising an endeavor as trying to figure out how the evening news is generated  by studying the flow of electrons in the TV.

15 insights from the spiritual path

  1. I thought all I needed to know about life would be taught to me in school.
    Now I know that most people know neither the goal nor the rules of life.
  2. I thought that consciousness was a by-product of the brain.
    Now I know that the brain is a consequence of consciousness’s thought
    (- the thought ‘I am separate’ taken seriously).
  3. I thought life was about learning facts and skills.
    Now I know that life is about remembering our true nature.
  4. I thought life was about money and success.
    Now I know that inner peace is more important than anything else.
  5. I thought life was about becoming someone special.
    Now I know that the journey is about losing the illusion of the separate self.
  6. I thought I would get the things I needed to be happy from outside.
    Now I know that happiness is an inside job.
  7. I thought I had to change the world out there.
    Now I know that the world ‘out there’ is merely a mirror of my state of mind.
  8. I thought it was important to be in control.
    Now I know that it is about letting go and letting God.
  9. I thought we had free will.
    Now I know that free will exists only as long as I assume to be separate from God.
  10. I thought people were moving around randomly, like molecules in a gas.
    Now I know that encounters are orchestrated with amazing precision.
  11. I thought struggling in life was inevitable.
    Now I know that there is another navigation mode: wishing and receiving.
  12. I thought I was the victim of circumstances.
    Now I know we may have planned our challenges prior to our incarnation.
  13. I assumed stillness was the absence of noise.
    Now I know that the stillness of our real being transcends noise and silence.
  14. I assumed eternity meant a really long duration.
    Now I know eternity is beyond the realm of time.
  15. I wasn’t sure whether God existed.
    Now I know that God is everywhere.

Beware, you’re gonna melt!

In the Disney movie Frozen, snowman Olaf desperately yearns for summer. And he dreams about all the lovely things he would do in summer. Like lazing on the beach with a drink in his hand, getting a suntan. Oh, and he can’t wait to see what his buddies will think of him. He is sure he will be so much cooler in summer.

He is not aware that he will melt.

That is a funny metaphor for the spiritual seeker who dreams about what enlightenment will do for him, but is not aware that the former familiar sense of self will be lost on the journey.
(Watch the really cute song In Summer here, 2 min https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFatVn1hP3o)

I have described the emotional effects of this melting process in my post about the Dark Night of the Soul.

The shocking truth about who we really are

“I was flabbergasted by how unreal human life is, how I could possibly have ever thought that I was a human being!” Nanci Danison exclaimed as she described her near-death experience (NDE). (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN-S0D3N2WM, at 8:44)

She realized that she just needed to think of something and there it was. Think of a tunnel. All of a sudden, there was a tunnel. Think of a meadow. Suddenly, there was a meadow. And all of it seemed real. It was totally clear to her that she had manifested her environment by thinking about it first. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgrEl7flT20, 3:30-7:15)

Eben Alexander describes in his NDE book Proof of Heaven that the term ‘looking at something’ doesn’t really describe it since this would imply separation. But he wasn’t separate from what he saw.

On Earth, this is true as well, but it is veiled and we are easily fooled into thinking that we are just a body, separate from its surroundings, and that our thoughts are mere emergent phenomena of our brain.

The spiritual journey leads to these two insights:

  1. We are consciousness and have created all we draw into our experience.
  2. We are not separate from what we see.

Can you imagine what a huge, worldview shattering shift in identity this is? To go from feeling located in our head between our ears to knowing that we are the consciousness that contains our body as well as the computer screen over there?

Life is constantly pointing this out to me. Little synchronicities seem to say,
Look, you have manifested this. Beware, you are not separate from what you see.”