Spirit intervention at the locker

The forces behind the veil can use many different means to guide us. This is a story about how they meddled with the electronics to influence events.

I work part time in the corporate world. And in spring of 2023, the Corona pandemic situation became better and our department at work was told to go back to the office for the very moderate amount of one day every other week.

Our department is located in a new building now where there are not enough places for everyone anymore and therefore the sub-teams have to come in in shifts. One group only on Tuesdays, another one on Wednesdays and so on.

That also means we cannot store our personal stuff at our desk anymore but instead we have to put it into a locker when we are not in the office.

In March 2023, I packed my stuff which I needed for the office. It felt like packing for a vacation trip. Not only did I have to take care of having the technical stuff at the office like keyboard, mouse, headset etc, but I also needed clothes for changing since I planned to bike there again. So, I ended up with three large bags of stuff and hoped they would fit into a locker.

My husband was so kind to drive me to the office by car with all the stuff before the first day so that I could find a free locker and have everything already available when I would come into the office the first day by bike.

Before we were going into the office, I asked spirit to please make sure that there would be still a free locker available for me and also that it would be the best locker in the sense that it was large enough and located somewhere where I wouldn’t have a long way to walk to get my stuff (because my feet hurt from the rheumatoid arthritis).

There were white lockers right at the entrance in the lobby and black lockers with a longer way to walk to them.
I had been told to use a black locker and had also been informed about the procedure to operate them.
It was not as easy as at the swimming pool where one had to just insert a coin and then turn the key. Here, it was much more technically complicated or sophisticated.

I asked my husband to help me with operating the locker so that I didn’t mess up anything with this procedure.

I put my badge to the central cockpit screen of the black lockers and chose “open new locker” on the display.
And then the screen said “open your locker with number <blank>” .

But where was the number of the locker I was supposed to open?

My husband and I were staring at the screen. We both could not see a number in the large blue dot on the screen.
I tried for about five times. Always the same result. No number was displayed.

I was steaming with frustration and anger. Here I was with all my stuff. Three bags. I would not be able to transport them on my bike from home to the office. And my husband had taken time off work to drive me there by car. And now the lockers did not work. But I desperately needed to store my stuff at the office – RIGHT NOW.
WTF was going on?!

After we had given up, we went outside to the white lockers right in the lobby of the building. Maybe they would work.

Just then, a colleague walked by and I asked him to help me with how to open one of the white lockers (who worked in a different way). He stayed patiently and helped me find a white locker which was still free (not easy at all) and also showed me how to open and close it (also quite tricky).

All my stuff fit into the white locker. What a relief!

About a week later, when I had my first day at the new office, I tried to open one of the black lockers again because I wanted to find out whether I needed to report the malfunction. And this time, there was a number displayed. No error anymore. How come it didn’t show me a number the first time when I tried it?

Here is how I made sense of this afterwards:
Even though I was originally told to use a black locker, the white ones have several advantages. They are close to the entrance and closer to our office. In addition, they have a hole in the door which enables a bit of air circulation. The black lockers are completely closed and I figured I might have ended up with mold when I would leave something a bit damp or wet in there for two weeks (like my teapot or so).

So, I believe the fact that mysteriously no number was displayed when my husband and I tried to operate the black lockers and the subsequent chance encounter with my colleague was an intervention by spirit in order to get me to use a white locker. After all, I had prayed to get support in finding a good locker and that prayer was answered.

A sign from our deceased pet

Sometimes deceased loved ones can send us signs of connection as a message that all is well. This is a story about a sign from a deceased pet.

During the time period from 2011 to 2023, we had three male budgies. We bought them because our older son wished for a pet so badly. A dog would have been too much work for me. But I could settle for budgies because I had had several ones myself when I was a kid.

We enjoyed them a lot. At first, they were quite shy. But with much patience, we managed to tame them so that it was a joy to play with them.

They loved to take a bath and were absolutely crazy about fresh basil in the water. When I put basil leaves into their drinking water, they would try to squeeze themselves into their small water cups in order to bathe in the basil. I wondered whether fresh basil is to budgies what catnip is to cats.

There also was a period of time when they started trying to mate with our hands (very cute) and then giving us fervent love bites (also cute, but ouch!).

We loved learning budgie language. Even though they never learned to speak human language, it was amazing to see how many different meanings can be conveyed by different sounds. There was the loud morning ‘competition singing’. There was a different sort of ecstatic, enchanted budgie song for conveying how much they love life. There was a short call for ‘hello’ and another one for ‘Come here!’. Then there was tired mumbling. And there were at least three different sounds for angry complaints (like ‘Where is our dinner?’ or ‘Take your claw off my wing!’).

We enjoyed seeing their different personalities. There was Quatschi (meaning ‘Chatty’) who was the calm and polite one. And there was Schlumpfi (which means ‘Little Smurf’ or ‘Smurfy’), the overly joyous and smart one who was super agile, somewhat intrusive, and restless which made me think he had hyperthyroid function or so. Both of them died already before 2023. And then there was Knöpfchen (meaning ‘Little Button’), the fearful, defensive, more introverted one who was rather not so polite when he wanted to defend his boundaries. But we eventually managed to tame him, too, so that he even enjoyed head scratches.

Budgie Knöpfchen died on April 25, 2023 after a short illness and we miss him. No more pets to love and cuddle after almost 12 years.

I wondered whether I would get a good bye sign from him. The previous one who had died (Schlumpfi, the smart and joyous one) had appeared to me in a dream on the day after his death. What would Knöpfchen come up with?

On the day after Knöpfchen’s transition, I let fresh air into the all the rooms of the first floor of our house as I usually do each day. When I came back to close the door to the balcony of my older son (who was the ‘daddy’ to our budgies) there was a white pigeon on the balustrade of the balcony, just looking at me curiously. It didn’t fly away. I stopped in my tracks and started talking to it in a soft voice acknowledging that it was a sign from our deceased budgie. As long as I talked, it sat still and just looked at me. But when I moved, it flew away.

I thought, too bad that I wasn’t able to take a picture of it. But then an hour later, I saw it again, this time all by itself again in front of my kitchen window. I went outside and was able to get quite close and take a picture without scaring it away.

You might wonder why this white pigeon is so special. There is a large flock of maybe 100-200 pigeons around here at the field where I take my walks, which is close to our house. And there is only a single white one among them. That single white pigeon had already visited me once at another time (back around 2022) in an unusual manner. And here it was again, on the day after the death of our last budgie. (I have no proof that both pigeons are one and the same, of course, and that this one is the single one from the flock at the field. I just guess that they are the same because usually there is no white pigeon here where the houses are. All the other pigeons here are usually grey.) This white one seemed synchronistic and more than a mere coincidence and I interpreted it as Knöpfchen’s way of saying, ‘All is well.’

The resting place – a story about gaining trust in the inner voice

Getting guidance via the inner voice can be a challenge for me because I tend to question “Did I really hear this? Or did I make this up?” Here, I want to share a story about gaining more trust in the inner voice.

The channeling homework

In 2021, I participated in a 6 months channeling class with Lisa Wechtenhiser. One of the homework tasks in June 2021 was to record a video channeling with messsages which our chosen divine being ( – in my case Archangel Michael – ) would share with the other participants in the class.

The video had to be 7 minutes long. What on earth would I talk about freely for 7 minutes while in front of the camera? I found that task extremely challenging and fear inducing and tensed up about it. (And we had to do not just one of these videos, but four. All about different topics and ranging in length from 5 minutes to 15 minutes).

Regarding the homework, I knew I wouldn’t be able to channel while sitting nervously in front of the camera. So, I took a walk around the fields, which is one of my favorite methods of relaxation, and tried to receive some messages.

I was a bit grumpy inside. Like, ‘I am sure I will not hear anything for this darn homework assignment! Poor me. What’s the point? Why even try?’

But then a little voice inside my mind said,

‘Why are you so sure that you can’t hear me when you haven’t even tried?‘

Oh, where did that come from? Okay, so maybe I just needed to keep an open mind and try.

I didn’t really hear an inner voice during the walk. It was more like getting the message from my inner guidance for myself that I needed to keep walking.

‘Keep walking‘ and ‘I’ll walk with you‘ ,

these were the statements that were always reiterated. Even though every step was painful due to the rheumatoid arthritis, I needed to keep going forward. In a physical sense and in a metaphorical sense.

What also came through was that we are never alone and always have company from the spirit realm on the journey. And we should’t forget to ask for assistance.

And then the channeling attempts were all about seeing things outside and taking them as messages or metaphors. So, I thought about the metaphors of everything along my way. The growth cycles of the trees, for example. The blossoms, bringing fruit, and then the phase of rest. And how that relates to our own lives.

Did Archangel Michael really talk to me about nature’s cycles? I have no idea. But I put it into the homework anyway because we were supposed to do it for certain length of time and I needed to fill time.

Then, I saw a fresh apple lying at the side along my way. It was not one of the apple trees here, but it was a fresh, bright green Granny Smith apple. How amazing and unusual. Normally, I didn’t find fresh fruit lying on the ground here.

I didn’t pick it up. But I thought about what a synchronicity that was since I was indeed short on apples in our frigde. And I could have picked it up as a gift. I interpreted it as a sign that I was always well taken care of and put that message into the channeling homework, too.

Next, I thought about how I had heard a crow barking like a dog at that place recently. And how that sounded funny and had pulled me out of a sad mood. So, I translated that experience into the following message:

‘If you are sad, I will send a crow which barks like a dog to put a smile on your face.’

When I went further, I came to a field where the wind was blowing through green barley. The sun came out and the barley made waves in the wind . I looked like waves on an ocean. A beautiful sight.

I thought how this would translate into words for the channeled homework message. Probably something like

‘I caress you with the sun and ruffle the hair of the earth with the wind.’

Even though my inner critic came out and said ‘Whoa, now we are going to wax lyrical about it’, I still kept it that way because the moment was truly beautiful.

Then I saw grey clouds to the left and the right and was wondering whether I would get home dry. But I did.
And then I translated that experience into

‘Don’t worry, I can part the clouds for you and make sure that you get home dry.‘

Then I went home and sat down in front of the camera to record my channeling homework video by basically repeating what I had just received during the walk before. It worked. I managed to speak freely for more than 7 minutes – with lots of repetitions and long moments of silence, though. But boy was it an awkward experience!

I struggled with this. Was this really valid channeling? Wasn’t I cheating because I was unable to do it freely in front of the camera without any preparation? And in addition, I didn’t really hear an inner voice most of the time. I just translated the experiences into messages. Was this valid? My my inner Officer of the Department of Doubt and Discernment was having a field day.

Towards the end of the recording session of the channeling, a surprising message dropped in, this time rather spontaneously.

‘And if you are hungry, I will provide a resting place along the way, make sure that the weather is fine and that you have something to eat. I fill your cup.‘

I was surprised about what just escaped my mouth. Where did that come from? Was Archangel Michael going to build another bench plus a table as a picnic place for me? Probably not. But I had said it anyway.

But then something happened which reminded me of that sentence again and which also restored trust that maybe I might not have made all the stuff up, but maybe I had received the messages correctly.

The fallen tree

Much to my surprise, a few weeks after I had done the channeling homework, we had a storm and an old tree at the corner of the field fell down. It must have been already rotten inside so that it could not withstand the storm.

Then the farmer hauled the tree to the side of the field (see picture below). And there, it served as the bench that Archangel Michael would provide as a resting place as the channeling had promised.

The location was perfect for my walk around the field since it was placed about half way. And nobody seemed to use it except me. The other people only used the real benches. And if the other benches were occupied but I needed to sit down to rest my legs and feet which had pain from rheumatoid arthitis, then I was very grateful to have this lying tree just for myself.

It was not just a place to rest when exhausted. It was also a place to rest when hungry, as it said in the channeling. Because prune trees were growing around that fallen tree.

The carving

A while later, I sat on another (real) bench along the field when I saw someone drive by on his bicycle. I looked at the brand of the bike and it said ‘Carver’.

I had never seen that bike brand before around here and thought maybe there was a message in that. Maybe I needed to pay attention to something. But what? I decided to look closer at the woodworm carving marks in the fallen tree.

So, when I sat down later on the fallen tree and as I glanced over the large amount of woodworm marks on it, I saw something special. It looked like an angel. A head, then a body with a long gown, two wings, and a sword. Seeing something resembling and angel alone would be awesome enough, but the sword pointed me to Archangel Michael. And that was the guide with whom I had been supposed to do this channeling exercise. Interpreting something into these carvings is very subjective, of course, like seeing images in clouds. Certainly, someone else might have seen something different. But for me it was meaningful.

So, even though that whole homework channeling exercise felt somehow forced and awkward and like I was making it all up, that chain of events with the sentence ‘When you are hungry, I will provide a resting place‘ and the fallen tree helped me to gain trust in the inner voice.

So maybe in my case, that is the way to go with attempts to channel. I can just start with something. Just start talking or writing even if it feels made up. And then at some point some message may slip in which might be surprising but turn out to be true later.

Singing after shadow work: the snowman

I found this tiny snowman during my walk on Dec 24, 2022. Here in Germany, we celebrate Christmas on Dec 24. So, it was a special day.

During that time, I also stumbled upon song We’re Walking in the Air (version with Peter Auty) from the short children’s film The Snowman. Such a gem! I read that it was well-known in the UK, but here in Germany I had never heard of it before. This series of events seemed like more than a mere coincidence to me.

The song was so beautiful that I felt the urge to learn how to sing it. And then I couldn’t stop singing it for a couple of days and I sang it everywhere, in the shower, in the kitchen, and in the forest during my walks (when I was alone).

What preceded this series of events was a period of shadow work in late 2022 triggered by a suggestion to do this work by Lisa Wechtenhiser in her channeling class.

I had looked at my anger that boiled close under the surface. Where did it come from? In my mind, I went back to all the incidents where I was mistreated from when I was a small child up to young adulthood.

While nothing super dramatic showed up, the incidents were still disturbing for me. Like when I was threatened to be robbed around age of 4. Or when I was wronged but was forbidden to speak up about it and defend myself. Or the three times I was sexually harassed from my teenage years to young adulthood. I felt victimized.

From these incidents, a lot of anger had built up and also some other emotions. And I needed to process that. Feel it and release it. So, I spent some time feeling all the confusion, rage, and grief.

The class teacher Lisa W. channeled the suggestion to come in as the protective parent in my meditation and sort of reparent myself in those situations where I was a young child. So, I did that, too. I felt a bit silly doing it. My rational mind questioned whether this would really help. But I did it anyway because it was a homework assignment of Lisa’s channeling class.

I have no idea whether I did this shadow work correctly. When is feeling an emotion enough to process it? And when do I start drowning in it and it becomes too much? Is feeling it for an appropriate amount of time enough to release it? Or will it come back? I guess that it probably comes back in waves which hopefully get smaller and smaller each time.

Afterwards, I settled into a calmer state of mind. And that was when the urge to sing started.

I had another period during the spiritual journey when I felt the urge to sing. It was around 2008-2010. Back then, I even joined a choir. I felt that it had something to do with my preceding onset of the rheumatoid arthritis, the discovery of spirituality, and my newly shifted worldview.

I had even read somewhere that in the shamanic traditions, some people go through the initiation of shamanic illness, then get well, and then they start to sing. There seems to be a connection between coming out of a difficult time and the joy that bubbles up afterwards and can be expressed in singing.

Among other things, singing probably helped me to let go of the anger about too little recognition and unfair treatment at work which came up in 2009.

This snowman song reminded me that it was now time to stop drowning in emotions of anger and grief, but instead to start metaphorically rising up and flying and to enjoy the lightness of being.

As a summary, I wanted to make the points that shadow work is important. The relief afterwards is palpable. And the force behind the veil sends synchronicities to guide us through the stormy waters of this journey.

Working with the moon phases

On September 1st, 2022, when I was in the grocery store, I came across a woman with a t-shirt twice which made me pay attention. The shirt had the moon phases on it and an inverted triangle and the words “Moon Magic”.

On the same evening a few hours later, I sat outside admiring the clouds during sunset when I suddenly noticed a weird cloud formation.

It looked like a person wearing a cape. And in the right hand was a sword pointing over to his left side. I didn’t have a camera with me and couldn’t take a picture of it, but I attempted to make the drawing below with a digital app to give you an approximate idea of what this looked like.

I thought, the sword symbol reminds me of Archangel Michael. Why is this image showing up for me now?

Then I saw where the sword was pointing to. It was the crescent moon.

Somehow this was new. I was blissfully unaware of most things related to the moon before. I didn’t know the dates when we would have a full moon or a new moon. I didn’t even know whether a moon was growing or shrinking when I saw it. But I thought that the signs I received regarding the moon meant that I should look that up.

It could also mean metaphorically “pointing to the moon” which is meant to say pointing to awareness, to that which can’t be described with words. But in combination with the t-shirt of the moon phases before, I thought it rather meant to point to moon phases.

According to my internet search, some people suggest that creative projects can be timed according to the moon phases. And while the moon is growing, it would also be a good time to invest in the new project.

I had never timed my projects according to moon phases before and I didn’t know whether it would make any difference for me. At that time, I was busy with the production of the divine guidance workshop video. So, I looked up the date of the next full moon (Sept 10, 2022) and thought, alright, 9 more days to go and until then I should probably reach an important milestone regarding the video project. I took this sign as a message to stop procrastinating and get going.

I still can’t say for sure whether working with the moon phases would make a difference for me. But I wanted to share this story as an example of how guidance can come in.

Guidance coming in on all input channels

Recently in this summer in August 2022, I got signs that I should get ready to speak. One of the signs was a mosquito bite on the right side of my neck which got a bit inflamed from scratching and made a long, thin, pointed red line which looked like a sword pointing to my throat chakra. And after this one was healed (which took several weeks!), I got another mosquito bite on my throat. But fortunately, this one didn’t get inflamed.

Then while sitting on a bench after a sightseeing trip in Erfurt, I saw a woman walking by with a bag with the word “SPEAK” stiched on it. It looked like a brand label. But I had never seen it before. Both of these synchronicities together (mosquito bite pointing to the throat and this word) seemed to point me to speaking.

On August 21, 2022, a rat got trapped in our basement shaft. After thinking back and forth for a while what to do about it, I got the idea from a youtube video to make a small rope and tie it to the grating of the basement shaft so that the rat could climb out by itself. It worked!
What to make of this incident? Was it just a normal occurrence or was it a message to pay attention to

The next day, on August 22, 2022, I had a dream that I was on a sailing boat and the sailing teacher took a sharp turn and accidentally poured some coffee over me. And afterwards, I became aware of how much I had to do and how tight my time schedule was, and I felt upset about this.
It turned out that this dream was precognitive.

In the evening of the same day, I participated in a zoom call of the Channel Higher class of the channeler Lisa Wechtenhiser, which is a follow-up group of her channeling training of spring 2021. And not only was there a painting of sailing boats in the background (which was unusual), but the topic of the call was about how we were holding ourselves back, the cost of that, and what we can do to free ourselves. Freeing ourselved seemed to fit with the message of the day before of freeing the trapped rat from the basement shaft. Like the coffee in the dream, that whole mix of the talk and the synchronicities with the dream and the freed rat was stimulating and motivated me to get going the very next day.

Since I have started working on an online version of the divine guidance workshop which I held back in 2017, signs keep dropping in that seem to signal that this is the right path. On various input channels of words and images on t-shirts, songs in the mind, blogposts of other WordPress bloggers, dreams, emails, and a voice in my mind, I get messages of confirmation, support, encouragement, and further direction.

I wanted to create an audio file (or audio-only video) and started out by taking my old blogpost Many forms of divine guidance, pasting it into the Descript app, and then choosing one of their stock voices to read it. I used a stock voice at first because I feel uneasy speaking into a microphone if there is nobody on the other side. I even have trouble sounding normal in intonation when I speak some message for my parents on their answering machine, for example. So, using a stock voice seemed convenient. I did not publish this, though, because it was just for testing and proof of concept.

And then afterwards, the signs kept coming:

The beautiful song “Who’ll come with me” from the Kelly family played in my mind with reassuring lyrics which I interpreted as that spirit walks with me and shows me the way.

In my WordPress feed, a channeled blogpost appeared with the message that it should be satisfying if one touches many people with their work. That sounded like it was meant to be motivation for me.

During a walk around the fields, I saw a guy with a t-shirt which had “Gimme some more” written on it. Like encouraging me to do more audio production.

Then, I got an unusual email from academia.edu with the title “See the rank of “The Experience of Divine Guidance”[…]” . I had downloaded Mark Allan Kaplan’s PhD dissertation The Experience of Divine Guidance from this website several years ago. And now they sent me this mail to suggest that I could look up the citation rank. That seemed like more than a coincidence.

Then I got another email, a tutorial from the Descript software, with the title “Write for your own voice”. That was like a message that I should not rely on the stock voices of Descript but rather speak in my own voice ( – I had suspected that already).

The inner voice of guidance also spoke. It said something along the lines that they would work more closely with me when I work on this divine guidance project. But with the inner voice, I am still never really sure whether I am making this up or not ( – I can see my spirit guides rolling their eyes as I write this; but wait – maybe I am just making that mental image up??).

Then I had a dream where I went into town but was walking around in underpants only. I knew I needed to go shopping and get new pants. My interpretation was that I am about to slip into a new role (- pants is something like a role we are playing).

So, guidance was coming in on all input channels with encouraging messages. And I want to emphasize that I have seen this several times. Whenever I stop procrastinating and finally surrender and commit to a new guided endeavor, then I get these signs of confirmation and encouragement. Sometimes theses signs can become so intense and pushy that they feel annoying or even threatening. But mostly, I find them comforting. Good to know that I am on the right track. It is also good to know that there really is something behind the veil – some intelligent, orchestrating force, and guiding force.

Building trust in the inner voice: the bike seat story

“We are so happy to hear that you are going to Berlin,” said the inner voice of guidance. “You will be treated like a princess. No, even like a queen. Like royalty. Enjoy your trip!”

And then they added, “And we have a surprise for you.”

In addition to this statement of the inner voice, I got an image in my mind of some people dancing or bobbing up and down with joy and excitement.

“Well, what is it? Won’t you tell me?” I replied.

“No, we won’t tell you. Because then it wouldn’t be a surprise. And the soul loves surprises!”

I had planned my spontaneous trip to my parents in Berlin for a few days during early May 2022. I wrote about it here. Some last minute concerns had been wiped away. Due to a sore throat, I had decided to take a COVID test. I would have canceled my train tickets when the test would have been positive. But luckily it came back negative. I felt relief. And now I was ready to go.

I wondered what the promised surprise was going to be.

And even more, I wondered whether I heard the inner voice correctly. I still struggle with the issue of discernment and trust in the inner voice. Most often, the guidance does not appear as an audible voice but more like thoughts in my mind. Thoughts where it is not me who is thinking them. It is more like someone is talking to me telepathically in thoughts. But it is hard to tell whether I am making this up. Is this wishful thinking? Or is it from guidance? It is often easier to discern when there is some additional guidance showing up on another input channel like in a dream, a song in the mind or showing up in the physical. So, I decided to wait and see.

As it turned out, not only was I treated royally with fantastic weather and tasty food, but there were at least three surprises. The first surprise was that the train had on-board entertainment and I got to watch a movie on the 5h train ride to Berlin. The second one was that I was contacted by a former colleague right after I had left Berlin. I am going to share now in more detail about the third surprise.

The surprise

So after a few days, I came back from Berlin late in the evening. And since I already had experienced two surprises, I didn’t expect any new ones. I got off the train and went to my bike which I had locked at the train station for a couple of days. My bike was still there and not stolen. That was a relief. But there was something unusual about it.

The first thing I noticed was a little rose flower in my basket. It was an artificial one, made from fabric. How lovely to be greeted with something like that!

Then I noticed that there was something strange about the bicycle seat. Not only was the plastic bag removed which I had used to cover the seat. But the saddle was low and the quick clamp was loosened.

WTF?

Then I took a closer look and realized that this was not my bike seat! Someone had taken my old bike seat out and put an almost new one in there. My old bike seat was very much torn on the surface. But I didn’t mind. I always used a plastic bag to cover it. And now I had an almost new bike seat with a smooth surface.

How lovely! Someone must have exchanged my saddle for a better one and put the rose in my basket. That must have been the surprise my guides promised me.

Some handicraft work required

However, after I arrived at home, I took a closer look at the new saddle and saw that there was a problem. The seat pillar was too thin. Even if I closed the quick clamp, the saddle would still move.

Darn. Now I wasn’t so sure anymore whether this surprise was really such a great gift and some resentment crept in.

Then the problem solving phase started. Sifting through ideas how to deal with this. I wasn’t going to spend money on a new bike seat because I was afraid that that one would be stolen the next time I went to Berlin leaving my bike for several days locked at the train station.

After an unsuccessul attempt to enlarge the diameter of the saddle pillar with thick fabric duct tape, we tried some handicraft with metal from soda cans. After some tinkering, we ended up cutting the metal of not only one but two soda cans and wrapping it around the pillar to make it fit into the bike frame. ( I am so grateful that I stumbled across this helpful tip in an internet forum.)

Then the saddle pillar fit and didn’t slide into the frame further while biking and I thought, finally, I can be grateful for this surprise.

Messages

But there was more. There were probably some messages to consider.

One of the soda cans was a Dr. Pepper with cherry-vanilla flavor. We usually never drink Dr. Pepper and I wasn’t even aware that this was available here in Germany, but my husband bought it because it was the cheapest soda can he could find at the grocery store. I wondered whether there was a message in that for me. Does having (Dr.) Pepper under my butt mean something similar to getting fire under my ass? I hope I won’t be pushed by my guides again to do things which I don’t want to do. Had enough of that in the past.

The other thing that might be a message was that the saddle had the inscription ‘MOODY’ on the side, along with icons which reminded me of moon phases. Was it an admonition to look at my moods and heal my moody conditions? Or should I read Raymond Moody’s books about NDEs? I am not sure. Looking at my moods of occasional grumpiness, fear, and anger and trying to get into a stable inner peace is always a good idea, but it is still work in progress.

The third thing to mention about the saddle is that is is from the brand ‘Selle Royal’. A royal bike seat. When I saw this, I realized that the inner voice which I heard before the Berlin trip had told me that I would be treated ‘like royalty’.

Not only did I have a new bike seat now, but I also had one more experience with the inner voice where I had learned to trust that what I had heard was real. And much more than any channeling class exercises, it is these little personal experiences which teach me to trust.

The message on the bench

‘Why not go through the forest today?’, the thought dropped into my mind on Saturday, April 23, 2022. Yeah, I had already taken a walk around the field in the sunshine just a day ago and now it was cloudy, so I wouldn’t miss any sunshine when I went into the shade of the forest instead of my usual walk around the fields. It would be the first trip to the forest this year.

With a little excited anticipation about what would be in store for me on that day, I got on my bike and took the short ride to the forest.

I had intended to put my bike right at the entrance of the forest and then walk the rest of the way, but for some odd reason my mind seemed to be wiped blank when I passed that spot and I ended up riding further into the forest instead.

‘Okay, never mind,’ I thought. ‘Who knows what this will be good for. I’ll just put my bike next to the little bridge then and walk from there.’

This time, I didn’t miss the spot. I locked my bike next to a small bridge and then took a walk around a lovely nature reserve area.

Even though the landscape was beautiful, my mood was rather brooding. Triggered by current events, thoughts about past stuff from work came up. Anger about not feeling appreciated enough in the past and my resulting intention to reduce my level of engagement at work. I still haven’t truly forgiven this issue. Regarding my day job, I am in a sort of detached, disengaged state most of the time. It feels peaceful on the surface, but if anything touches that old wound, emotions of anger and sadness come up again.

There are many benches along the way and I usually sit down often to rest and enjoy the view. I was glad that I was alone on this walk. Sadness came up and I let the tears flow. I didn’t even know whether the tears were sadness about the work anymore or whether they were a sign of release. Tears of relief as if someone hugged me after I had gone through a rough time.

In that brooding and teary-eyed mood, I got up and walked a bit to leave the nature reserve again where I suddenly saw a new bench at the side of the forest. The wood of the bench was old so it must have been there for a long time, but even though I had walked past this spot many times, I had never noticed a bench in this place. Maybe someone put an old bench in this spot?

So, I thought that I still had enough time since I rode my bike too far into the forest that day and shortened the way which I would walk and therefore I could rest on that new bench. And then a couple of minutes later, I decided to make a small detour. All because I still had enough time left.

As I walked a small, barely visible detour-path which I had never gone before with the forest on my left and the fields on my right side, I saw another bench. It was old, had a hole in part of the seat and was out of sight from the main path. How nice that there were so many benches in beautiful spots.

When I sat down, still teary-eyed, I saw that on top of some graffiti a (German) text was written on the old, weathered wood.

The message on the bench

Here is the German text:

„Vertraue!

Alles ist gut.🤍

Du bist ewig!

Du bist wunderschön.

Es ist kein Zufall, das[s] du hier bist!

Wir passen auf dich auf!“

Translation:

„Trust!

All is well.🤍

You are eternal!

You are beautiful.

It is no coincidence that you are here!

We’re looking after you / watching over you!

My tears welled up even more, this time because of wonder and gratitude. Until I was able to laugh again. Then I said to my guides, “Thank you. You guys are amazing.”

I don’t know who wrote this lovely message and for whom, but now it became clear to me how I was guided to this bench all along and why I was made to miss the first parking spot of my bike at the entrance of the forest.

At that day, I didn’t have any device with me to take a picture.
When I came back two days later to take photos of the bench, I also saw that several of the trees were marked with two white dots by the foresters. And someone had played with these dots and painted faces on a few trees like in this picture.

I think these kinds of stories happen to me, but they do not belong to me. They want to be shared. So, that’s what I do. I hope you also find some miracles in the forest or somewhere else in everyday life.

Results of working with divine guidance: coming into alignment with the soul

In addition to the paradigm shift that consciousness is prior to everything (see last week’s post), another result of working with divine guidance is coming into alignment with what the soul wants.

The Octopus Model

Back in the early years of my spiritual journey around 2007/2008 when I became aware that there was an invisible force behind the veil like a giant invisible hand moving everything and orchestrating events like chance encounters and synchronicities, an image dropped into my mind. It was a something like a giant octopus with more than a million arms (or a hand with a million fingers) and each arm had a puppet sitting on the tip of each arm (like one would put a thimble on a fingertip while sewing). We were like divine puppets moved by a giant, invisible puppeteer.

The ‘octopus’ came into my mind with the color of transparent light blue and it represented the giant invisible force (consciousness/ awareness / the void) which moved everything.

The puppets or thimbles on the tips of the arms had the color of opaque bright red and they represented the things in the visible realm (other people, animals, cars, etc.)

At first, I struggled with the color coding of this mental image or vision. I thought if I am ever going to share this, wouldn’t it be nicer to have the octopus in red and the puppets in blue? Because most people are probably familiar with the red pill vs blue pill choice in the film The Matrix where the blue pill represents staying in the illusion and the red pill represents waking up. But even though I tried, the mental image didn’t want to be changed and somehow insisted on keeping the octopus in transparent light blue and the puppets in opaque bright red. So, I gave up and stayed with these colors.

When I was in awe and wonder about all the synchronicities but struggled with the question ‘How does this work?’, this model dropped into my mind as an answer. I gave me an explanation of how the world is not made up of separate bodies which move around randomly and bump into each other just by coincidence. But there was a hidden force which orchestrated everything.

The model could also explain how it would be possible to have a telepathic connection to someone else. The connection from one being to the next was via the route of up one arm to the body of the octopus and then down another arm to the other being.

What about free will?

Even though this model could explain some mysteries, I still struggled with the aspect of free will. If we are steered like puppets by the divine force all the time, then why is life on earth such a mess? And why can it sometimes be so hard to decide what the best next step would be to take?

Some years later, I read a Raj/Jesus channeling by Paul Tuttle which described the spiritual journey as starting with a connection to the divine like a string with much slack (i.e. a lot of free will). And as the journey progressed, the string would become shorter and shorter and exercising free will would become more and more uncomfortable.

I found the string analogy helpful and put this element into the octopus model. The red puppets were now tied to the octopus’s arms with strings which had more or less slack. As the spiritual journey progressed, the strings would become shorter. At a certain point when the string had no slack anymore, the red puppet would only follow the movement of the octopus’s arms.

Octopus model with puppets with strings with varying amounts of slack

I remember reading in one of Bernadette Roberts‘ books about the path to no-self or the experience of no-self that at one point in her journey any decision making process was like walking or balancing on a log of wood. It was completely clear where the next step had to be placed. Exercising free will and choosing any other direction would have resulted in falling off the log of wood. That is what I assume will happen in the journey and that is what I mean when I say that free will becomes less and less.

I had my own experiences with giving up free will. When I chose to act contrary to my guidance, things would break in the house or I would get sick. This was a precursor to the situation described by Bernadette Roberts.

There is free will. But choosing a direction different from what the divine would have us do becomes harder and harder as the journey progresses.

Coming into alignment

Following divine guidance leads to a coming into alignment with one’s soul. In the model discussed above, it is about shortening the strings. In the beginning, they are long and have a lot of slack. That means for the individual person there is a lot of wiggle room to exercise free will and go into all directions of which they think that it would make them happy (money, career, admiration, shopping, etc.)

After a while, if the person planned to have an awakening in that lifetime, their string becomes shorter and shorter when looking at the journey from a bird’s eye view seeing the big picture.

In the next post, I plan to write about what that journey of shortening the string and coming into alignment might look like from the person’s point of view.

Wisdom teeth removal (part 2/2): a generous tooth fairy

This is the second part of the story about my younger son’s wisdom teeth removal. You can read part 1 here.

An unexpected gift

We had taken the four removed teeth home with us since they were whole. I scrubbed them clean and then decided to search for a container in which my son could keep them. I went to the pharmacy, described the situation and wanted to buy cylindrical plastic containers which are usually used for ointments. But the pharmacist said she could give me a metallic box for free. It had a pretty picture on the lid and I agreed to take it, feeling very grateful for this gift. My son was happy with this box and placed his wisdom teeth in there.

This was not only a gift for my son. Since the surgery was on my birthday, the fact that the surgery went well and this free metal box were also like birthday gifts for me.

My son made it through the next days with a lot of care, ice packs, pureed food, and sleeping with his head elevated.

A kick in the butt by the tooth fairy

A week after the surgery, the stitches had to get removed. On that day, my son came home later than usual from school. What had happened? The rear tire of his bike had a hole and was flat and therefore he had to walk half of the way home.

So, he took his older brother’s bike to go to the surgeon’s office. The thing is that his brother’s bike is much larger than his own bike. And since my younger son is already pretty tall, he found riding such a large bike way more comfortable than his old bike.

Then he had the stitches removed which was a bit uncomfortable again, but he endured the procedure and was very happy to be able to eat solid food again afterwards.

What a timing of circumstances! Why did the tire go flat exactly on the day when the removal of the stitches was scheduled? That seemed like a hint of the force behind the veil that it was time now to switch to a new bike. A kick in the butt by the tooth fairy.

Back in summer of 2021 when our older son got his new larger bike, we had asked our younger son whether he wanted one, too. But he said no. Back then he was still fine with his old smaller bike which he rode since he was in 5th grade.

So, I said, “You know, even though we never did this tooth fairy custom thing here in our family, I think that some kind of spirit thinks you deserve a gift after what you have gone through. That is why the tire of the bike burst just before you got the stitches out. I think we need to buy you a new large bike soon.” Now, he eagerly agreed.

But getting a new bike was not enough. He also wanted to change his school backpack to a new cool one.

And also his wallet and key pouch.

He felt so grown-up all of a sudden that everything had to be changed. Apparently, he had a generous tooth fairy. (But considering that our public health insurance here in Germany paid for (almost) the entire oral surgery, I won’t complain about money.)

The whole story reminded me of initiation rites which the young men undergo around puberty in some indigenous cultures (for example, as the ones which are vividly described in the mind-blowing, impressive book Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some). Trying, painful, and scary. But once they made it through, they emerge as grown-ups and there is a party and gifts.

My son just came in and said, “Mommy, I need a new bike helmet, too. My old one ist too small.”

Sigh.

Alright. So, I ordered a new bike helmet.

Now I think I need to go and have a serious chat with the tooth fairy.